"[Intercepted Transmission]"

[fairhearing]

can't stop writing

Title: [Intercepted Transmission]
Author: Fair Hearing
Pairing: Chekov/Sulu
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Meta, overuse of html, explicitly quoted sex, strongly suggested one-handed typing.
Notes: From this prompt at the kink meme. I ttly intercepted this transmission by sheer chance, lucky me. Also, I'm not the author they quote -- I'd never write such terrible smut.  >_>




fencinginspace: Pavel, do me a favor and don't browse the subspace network today, all right?

only_sewenteen: The entire network?

fencinginspace: Yeah, just to be safe.

only_sewenteen: But, Hikaru, I have very many open threads that I must check for new data.

only_sewenteen: Hikaru?

fencinginspace: Yeah, I'm here, I'm just trying to think of the best way to put this.

I just think it's not the best idea for you to be poking around there today.

only_sewenteen: Why are you suddenly saying this, Hikaru?

fencinginspace: Uggggh

fencinginspace: Just trust me, please? I've been around the Uninet for a lot longer than you have, remember.

only_sewenteen: Yes, I remember those pictures from the goat se website. :( Is this the same thing?

fencinginspace: Kind of.

only_sewenteen: Kind of, how?

only_sewenteen: Hikaru, if you don't tell me, I am going to have to go see by myself.

fencinginspace: NO

only_sewenteen: Well?

fencinginspace: rrrrrrgggh

only_sewenteen: ?

fencinginspace: Fine, okay. The people there just like to, you know, write stuff about you.

only_sewenteen: What stuff?

fencinginspace: You know what I mean. The stuff about you and me.

only_sewenteen: Oh.

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: Actually, I do not know if I have ever read the stuffs you mean.

fencinginspace: Oh, come on, Pavel, of course you have.

only_sewenteen: No, I mean it, I can't remember. I think it might be good if you could tell it about to me?

fencinginspace: If I could what?

only_sewenteen: Ah, not tell it. Explain it to me. One of the stuffs.

fencinginspace: Explain it?

only_sewenteen: Describe it. Just so I am sure.

only_sewenteen: Just so I know.

only_sewenteen: Only for this reason.

only_sewenteen: I do not want to read it or anything; I just want to be sure.

fencinginspace: Um

fencinginspace: Okay.

fencinginspace: Let me see.

only_sewenteen: Okay.

fencinginspace: Oh, here, for example. "Sulu/Chekov, doing it hard, fast, and dirty. Bonus points for it just being a casual, fun thing, without them being in a relationship."

only_sewenteen: Wow.

fencinginspace: I know, really.

only_sewenteen: Wait a second.

only_sewenteen: Doing what?

fencinginspace: You know, Pavel. "It."

only_sewenteen: Yes, okay, but I am at google.uni to search for this, I am finding holosuite based on book by Stephen King?

fencinginspace: dear god

fencinginspace: "It" means sex.

only_sewenteen: Stephen King wrote a book about sex only?

fencinginspace: No, what it means is that the person I quoted above wanted to read a story about you and me having sex.

only_sewenteen: oh!

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: How strange!

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: Are there such stories?

fencinginspace: Uh

fencinginspace: Well, apparently there's this one.

only_sewenteen: The hard and fast and dirty one

only_sewenteen: ?

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: What happens in it?

only_sewenteen: It is I am saying just because I am finding this funny.

only_sewenteen: How silly Ha! Ha!

fencinginspace: Um, well...

only_sewenteen: I mean is fine if, you are embarrassed, I dont need to. i just think it is funny.

fencinginspace: Hold on a sec, I'm reading it.

only_sewenteen: Oh, okay.

fencinginspace: lol

only_sewenteen: What?

fencinginspace: Nothing, this is just ridiculous.

only_sewenteen: What is ridiculous?

fencinginspace: Well, it starts out with me in the gym giving you fencing lessons.

only_sewenteen: L.O.L.! That is ridiculous!

fencinginspace: Actually, I thought that part was pretty cool. I was actually thinking it would be fun to teach you how to fence someday.

only_sewenteen: Me too, I think that would be cool.

only_sewenteen: I didnt meant ridiculous, I meant cool.

fencinginspace: Anyway, then we're using epees for the first time, and you accidentally cut me, and I'm bleeding.

only_sewenteen: That is ridiculous! I never would do that!

fencinginspace: Well, in this, you do, and then I'm like, no, I'm fine, but you insist on taking off my shirt to check the cut.

fencinginspace: And then you, like, kiss it better, or whatever, and then we have sex in the shower, it's pretty stupid.

only_sewenteen: this does sound stupid indeed.

only_sewenteen: how do we get to the shower however?

fencinginspace: Um

fencinginspace: It says, quote, we "stumble into the locker room in a tangle of sweaty limbs, licking and sucking at each other so deeply they sometimes forget they have to part for air."

fencinginspace: so.

only_sewenteen: wow.

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: That is very ridiculous because of bad subkject-verb agreements.

fencinginspace: Oh.

fencinginspace: Yeah, it's in the third person.

only_sewenteen: Like how?

fencinginspace: Like, uh...

fencinginspace: "Chekov kisses a feverish line down Sulu's abdomen, panting when he reaches the drawstring of his pants. As he fumbles with the tie, he finds himself cursing whoever invented double-knots and anyone, including Sulu, who still uses them, because Sulu's hand is tightening in his hair and he's moaning softly with every hot breath Chekov huffs against the fabric and Chekov thinks he might come in his pants before he can get Sulu's cock out."

fencinginspace: fuck

fencinginspace: um, whoops,, that wasn't the paragraph I meant to paste.

fencinginspace: Pavel?

only_sewenteen: .

fencinginspace: Sorry, think I missed that

only_sewenteen: oh i just says, that is runon sentence pargraph. very bad thing, my english teacher telled me.

fencinginspace: lol

fencinginspace: She was rightr.

fencinginspace: Right*

only_sewenteen: What does next papragraph say?

fencinginspace: Uh

only_sewenteen: I want to see if it is so bad as the other.

fencinginspace: "Finally, though, he gets it open, and Sulu's cock is so thick and hard that he kind of just wants to look at it for a few minutes, at the veins along the underside and the head glistening with precome and how red and heavy it is, because of him, because of Chekov. But Sulu's hand tightens in his hair with a whispered 'Fuck, Pavel, onegai shimasu,' and it sends a shiver in him all the way down to his balls. He moans as he takes Sulu's cock into his mouth as deep as he can."

fencinginspace: damn, haha

fencinginspace: this person's dedicated, huh?

fencinginspace: also still pretty bad, i don't sperak Japanese.

fencinginspace: speak*

only_sewenteen: yes bad

only_sewenteen: bnext?

only_sewenteen: nextparagragh I mean.

only_sewenteen: i want to know how it end. ;-))

fencinginspace: oh, okay.

fencinginspace: "Chekov rubs himself through his pants at the sounds Sulu is making, closing his eyes, because he's pretty sure he hasn't escaped the danger of coming in his pants yet, and any visual cues added to the intermingled taste of Sulu's sweat and Sulu's blood and Sulu's cock in his mouth will probably send him over the edge. He lets out a little muffled grunt when Sulu hits the back of his throat by accident, and instead of letting him pull away he holds him there, relaxing his throat and humming, letting Sulu feel the vibration."

fencinginspace: "Chekov rubs himself through his pants at the sounds Sulu is making, closing his eyes, because he's pretty sure he hasn't escaped the danger of coming in his pants yet, and any visual cues added to the intermingled taste of Sulu's sweat and Sulu's blood and Sulu's cock in his mouth will probably send him over the edge. He lets out a little muffled grunt when Sulu hits the back of his throat by accident, and instead of letting him pull away he holds him there, relaxing his throat and humming, letting Sulu feel the vibration."

only_sewenteen: next

fencinginspace: Sorrty, hit the button   by accident.

only_sewenteen: thatsd ok.

fencinginspace: "Sulu curses again and pulls Chekov to his feet, crushing their mouths together, and Chekov could whimper with relief when Sulu undoes his pants with a practiced hand and cups his erection. He whimpers again, this time in dismay, when Sulu takes his hand away, but it's only so Sulu can put his fingers in Chekov's mouth. Chekov sucks on them like he did on Sulu's cock, wetly, moaning, until Sulu can't take it anymore and turns him around, bracing him against the wall."

fencinginspace: should ijust go to the end

fencinginspace: ?

only_sewenteen: y

fencinginspace: "The first push of Sulu's finger is slow, too fucking slow, and Chekov whines, pushing back against it. He can feel Sulu grin against his shoulder and suddenly there are three fingers, stretching him wide and curling against that place inside him that makes him arch back and see stars.

'Please, Hikaru, please,' he whimpers mindlessly, and with a deep growl that makes Chekov's nipples harden against the cold tile, Sulu pushes his cock against his entrance."

fencinginspace: "He slides in steady and easy and the burn of his cock fills Chekov all the way up, all the way into his throat, and he's making sounds he can't even hear, trying to get Sulu further inside. Luckily Sulu knows what he wants and skips right to the part Chekov needs, the real fucking, pulling all the way out and pushing all the way back in deep hard thrusts that hit the tiny electric tingle at the center of him."

fencinginspace: "Soon Chekov is just wailing Sulu's name, 'Hikaru, Hikaru,' and when Sulu starts to jerk him off he can't make any sound at all, just desperate choking breaths until he starts to come in hot hard spurts against the tile, harder than he's ever come in his life. Sulu grips him close with one arm and fucks into him so deep that Chekov's cock keeps pulsing out little drops of come, making him whimper louder and louder in oversensitized pleasure until Sulu finally comes himself, hot and wet inside him."

fencinginspace: "They stand together like that for a few minutes afterward, panting hard, until Chekov makes a little sound and Sulu pulls out, murmuring an apology. Chekov lets his head fall back against Sulu's chest, and he looks up through half-closed lids.

'I theenk I like fencing lessons wery much,' he says, with a wicked grin, and Sulu can't help but agree.'

THE END please r/r.'"

fencinginspace: "

fencinginspace: oops sorry again.

fencinginspace: Pavel?

only_sewenteen: hereIam! I had to answer transmission from bridge. You were right, Hikaru, that was very ridiculous! I laughed a lot. :)

Automated response from fencinginspace: I am away from the Computer right now.

only_sewenteen: Whoops!

fencinginspace: ack, back

only_sewenteen: Yay!

fencinginspace: Sorry about that, I had to run to the bathroom.

only_sewenteen: That's okay!

fencinginspace: So, yeah, I'd stay away from the network for a few days if I were you.

only_sewenteen: I will definitely do this, Hikaru. People are extremely silly, ha!

fencinginspace: Heh, I know.

only_sewenteen: Where exactly was the stupids story, so I may know not to go?

fencinginspace: Uh

fencinginspace: enterprise_xi_kink

only_sewenteen: Oh, thank you. Why is xi?

fencinginspace: I don't know, actually.

only_sewenteen: Weird stuffs.

fencinginspace: Yeah.

only_sewenteen: :)

fencinginspace: ;-)

fencinginspace: brb

only_sewenteen: I am not sure what the B.R.B. means, but I think is time for shower for me. I will see you tomorrow, Hikaru, yes?

Automated response from fencinginspace: Singin' (poorly) in the shower...

only_sewenteen: Oh!

only_sewenteen: Okay then.

only_sewenteen: Good night! Do not have ridiculous dreams! :)

only_sewenteen: Bye bye

only_sewenteen: I will see you tomorrow!

only_sewenteen: Sleep well!

only_sewenteen: Good night!

only_sewenteen: Bye!

only_sewenteen: ;D
 

Comments

[izzyfics.livejournal.com]

Fucking amazing. Love the chat format...so hilarious!

[xkiisstheraiin.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA. Oh lordd, that was hilarious. xD

♥

[fluffysilver.livejournal.com]

That was great. XD Especially Pavel Chekov's continuously saying goodbye at the end, tee hee! That was hilarious.

[serenity-winner.livejournal.com]

Oh my god haha I love how their spelling got really bad when they were TOTALLY FAPPIN'!

A+++++ idea and execution, this is hilarious and awesome.

[spirograph.livejournal.com]

LOLOL love it! The chat typos were perfect ;)

[moonfoot-gamgee.livejournal.com]

Ahaha! This is genius.

'Fuck, Pavel, onegai shimasu,'

lolololol Fail!fic hilarity! I would cringe and then stop reading if I saw something like that in a C/S fic. XD

[fallen-woman.livejournal.com]

GAH ADORATION. i usually find IM fics overly precious, but every detail of the chat was so IC and hilarious and revealing. I love Chekov's innocent comment on Stephen King writing a book about sex, his complaint about subject-verb agreement, and the furious backtracking when Sulu says it might be cool to teach him fencing. :) And Sulu's "fuck" right after the first dirrrrrtyhot paragraph made me grin so hard my face hurt.

[kinkme.livejournal.com]

THIS.

THIS IS MY HAPPY FACE.

DO YOU SEE IT?

\o/

[weeping-daphne.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, those two crazy kids.

[toxic-chocolate.livejournal.com]

OH GOD THAT WAS JUST

SOMETHING ELSE

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHASGHAHSAFJKHjadkjfhf

OOC

[fencinginspace.livejournal.com]

So, I just have to say that you are amazing for creating this. It's so real and so very funny. The typos make it all the more realistic as a chat log. Basically, I think I love you. A lot. This made me squee like nobody's business tonight. :D

Re: OOC

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

:O

Thank you so much! I was actually a little worried that you guys might object to me using your (awesome) screen names, so it's a huge relief to hear you liked it!

... this is kind of weird on several levels, isn't it.

Re: OOC

[fencinginspace.livejournal.com]

No objections whatsoever. I kinda feel special, actually. Hee.

Yeah, it definitely is. :D

[emiime.livejournal.com]

This is seriously brilliant! The typos! Pavel's slightly imperfect English! The tension! The backpedaling! I love everything about this. I am grinning all over the place.

The badfic was awesome in its own special way, and I especially loved that you had Sulu speaking Japanese in the fic and then commenting on it in the chat. Because he's from San Francisco, his family having lived there for generations, and I think a lot of people conveniently forget that when he's paired up with the cute Russian.

I have to go read this again. You're awesome.

[kittyjimjams.livejournal.com]

Oh man this was FAAAAABULOUS. So good I had to go and pimp it on [info]startrek_diary .

Like others have said, I love the mushed typing and brief pauses for "transmissions from the brige" fnarr fnarr. I have such a weakness for this kind of RL crossover meta, and this is an example of the VERY FINEST. :D

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

::tears continue to well up in eyes::

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

LOL, that's brilliant! *pets them both*

[munnin-odanin.livejournal.com]

Bwhahahahahaha! Oh I hurt I laughed so hard. Thanks!

[julie-3000.livejournal.com]

OMG I NEED MOAR OF THAT STUFF!! that's such a brilliant idea
love it & love you <3333

[fisher-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. You win.
That is one of the most awesome things either.
High points for me: Chekov reading a lot like my ESOL students and noticing the grammar issues that they've been trained to focus on, Sulu's reaction to the Japanese and the two of them disapearing at the end. Bwahaha.

[dana-norram.livejournal.com]

God, you're a freaking GENIUS! The chat typos are fucking perfect (lol, Sulu totally had his hands... hm, busy with something else) and the end makes me laugh my ass off. Our poor Chekov. The kid needs a hand.

Anyway, awesome job! :D

Ps. "onegai shimasu" FTW! That so remembers me of my dark!past with the anime fandom. /epicfail

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

I just commented on this on the meme but I have to comment here too and say how much I truly love this! I didn't mention it before but I cracked up at Chekov asking what the 'XI' was for and Sulu not knowing. Genius!

[cedarrapidsgirl.livejournal.com]

Love this! And yeah, they are TOTALLY going to the bathroom and shower...to do..what? Hee. *hugs*

[shadowclub.livejournal.com]

I loved the format and the whole meta crack of the whole thing!!

♥

ALSO OOC

[only-sewenteen.livejournal.com]

Maddly, truly, laughing my ass of at this. Holy crap. I saw it and seriously did an insanely happy dance. The words, the typos, gaaaaaaaah.

More please

And no, that's totally not you writing the smut. Uh uh. Nope, not you.

And Chekov, too, would like to say something but is otherwise unavoidably detained.

Re: ALSO OOC

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

!!!

Seriously, though, I fretted over the possible approval (or lack thereof) of you two more than anyone else, by far. Thanks so much ;_;

Re: ALSO OOC

[only-sewenteen.livejournal.com]

What? Really? XD Of course it's okay! And it's darn awesome to boot. We're just having fun with the characters, it's all you guys who make it happen and be more awesome.

I mean christ do you know how much scheming and anons and RP-ers and people it took to throw those two in a room? I was actually surprised it was pulled off that well. XD

[zalixethbe.livejournal.com]

I died laughing at this, omg. I loved Chekov's imperfect English, and the backtracking about the fencing lessons, and Hikaru commenting on the random Japanese... Brilliant.

[jessofthebugs.livejournal.com]

I am giggling. I am still giggling.

only_sewenteen: Where exactly was the stupids story, so I may know not to go?

BWAHAHAHA!!!

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

*cries laughing* Oh, my God. You utterly rock the chat format, and their voices, and the story excerpts (I think I've read that story; I hope to God I didn't write it) and I'm not really coherent because I'm lightheaded from laughing.

*applauds, wiping eyes*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_profiterole_/]

HA HA HA! THE TYPOS WHEN THEY WERE JERKING OFF! XDDD

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

*laughing* Fun!

[artemis-sparks.livejournal.com]

This was so ridiculously cute.

[devo79.livejournal.com]

This is so good :)
You've used the "media" so well here and manage to give the reader a complete experience despite only getting what is essentially "just" dialog.

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

This was awesome on the meme and awesome here and all kinds of incredible meta. *g* I, too, must add I love when it becomes apparent they're fappin'. *cough*

[dctr-mccoy.livejournal.com]

Nice story... its amazing we get any work at all done up here...

[radiophonic.livejournal.com]

asghslk. Oh man, the spelling errors are killing me. Very subtle. :DDD

[ohloveme.livejournal.com]

I think i love you <3

[chibinecco.livejournal.com]

Automated response from fencinginspace: Singin' (poorly) in the shower...

only_sewenteen: Oh!

I totally had the image in my head of that "oh!" being completely breathless as chekov gets hit with the image of Sulu naked in the shower... and i totally love the cyber!sex/phone!sex thing, so this... totally made my day...

[wakeupjones.livejournal.com]

LOL! This was the best thing I've ever freaking read! I loveee Pavel's chatspeakyness, it's so cute. So freakin' obvious though those two wanna bone each other lol!

Next one should be "Sulu teaches Chekov about cybersex" rofl

[eeyore9990.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Awesome awesome awesome! I'll just be over here giggling myself silly.

[januaryfreeze92.livejournal.com]

HAHA! That was awesome. So clever, and just so funny! I love how they both conveniently had to go to the bathroom after, lol!

[goldenfish-jz.livejournal.com]

"only_sewenteen: Stephen King wrote a book about sex only?"
this made me laugh SO hardly xD
really amazing, hot and much funny also ^^
thank you for sharing =)

[lemonsherry.livejournal.com]

Quite possibly the most awesome thing I've ever read!

[one-dreamery.livejournal.com]

Lmfao. OMG. Their chat voices or so damn spot on and this whole thing is so incredibly genius. This is definitely the absolute best chat-fic I've ever read. Very well done :)

[sycoraxsnow.livejournal.com]

oh gosh xD so awesome, laughed all the way through.